To Ms. Entrekin, Executive Director U.S. Pony Club:

          In response to your seventh “Important Notice” postcard- as I mentioned three postcards ago, this is no longer Jake’s address, he lives in Brooklyn. And you can abandon your fantasy he’ll be calling to update his biographical information for the Pony Clubs Album, because- and I’ll be direct here, as your incessant badgering leaves me no choice- Jake has no interest in Pony Club. In fact, Jake recently told me that he fucking hates ponies and everything they stand for.

          I hope I don’t coming off sounding harsh or anything. And just so you know, personally, I have nothing against ponies, despite the fact that you’ve never invited me to join your little club.

                                                Sincerely,

                                                Jake’s Mom