The morning news was full of tales from Black Friday. There was the story of a California woman who pepper-sprayed her competition for Xboxes at Walmart, followed by one about a man who collapsed at a Target in South Carolina, only to have shoppers step over his body to get to the sales items. The man died a short while later, en route to the hospital.

It’s disheartening to learn that in the frenzy of the Christmas shopping season, some people put merchandise before humanity. When push comes to shove, out comes the pepper spray. A deep discount and limited inventory are all it takes for a dying man to become a speed bump.

When holiday shopping is a certifiable death sport, you have to wonder what’s in store for the human race. In my head, a modern-day Tiny Tim amends his final words to “God Help Us, Everyone.”